Disclaimer: The information in this article is not driving advice.chicken rooster 01

Anyone who's had a Portuguese person teach them how to drive knows the struggle is real. Being Portuguese I have many hilarious stories to share, but I'll start with these stories:

Ruler Needed

Portuguese instructor: When are you getting your drivers permit to learn how to drive?

Portuguese student: I'm getting my drivers permit on Monday.

Portuguese instructor: That's too long! You're learning how to drive now!

Portuguese student: Okay...

Portuguese instructor: Move the car into that parking stall. Keep an eye out for the cops.

Portuguese student: [Moves car into parking stall].

Portuguese instructor: What are you stupid?! You don't know how to park?!

Portuguese student: I'm in the middle of the parking.

Portuguese instructor: You're way off!* Maybe you should have someone else teach you how to drive!

*One side of the car is two inches off-centered.

Can Never Get the Speed Right

Portuguese instructor: You're going too slow!

Portuguese student: I'm going 23 or 24 MPH in a 25 MPH zone.

Portuguese instructor: You're going to fast! You're going to get us killed!

Portuguese student: I'm going 30 MPH in a 35 MPH zone.

To Stop or Not to Stop

Portuguese instructor: What are you doing?!

Portuguese student: Stopping because there's a STOP sign.

Portuguese instructor: There's no one around, you just wasted my brakes!

[1 minute later].

Portuguese instructor: What are you doing?!

Portuguese student: You just told me not to stop if no one is around.

Portuguese instructor: You're supposed to stop at a STOP sign!

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